The first time I realised I had ZERO leverage in a subcontract negotiation, I was signing up the elevator trade for a project in Brisbane, circa 10 yr ago.
On a freezing cold morning at Zaraffas Coorparoo, I was sipping coffee with the lovely Cathy Merilaid, and a coworker from KONE.
I opened the conversation with the old chestnut "We can't change our Subcontract for any subbies. If we can't sort this out, we'll have to go with someone else."
Cathy's coworker promptly gave me a monumental smack-down, saying "you can't do that, the lift shaft has already been built to our spec."
No kidding mate 🤨
By saying it the way he did, his "power statement" had me completely offside.
Cathy on the other hand, ignored that chump and fell back on classic positive negotiation technique.
First, she found the personal connection, asking 5 fast questions about me, my role, what I was studying, if it was hard, and then gave me a compliment with a genuine smile, and really kind sparkly eyes.
Her efforts to preserve me in the negotiation 💯% saved the relationship. Her coworker was smart enough to shut up and let Cathy do all the heavy lifting.
Pulling out their "non-negotiables," Cathy took me through each of the requested changes.
By using issues identification, and logic-based assurances to build trust, Cathy had me agreeing with her before my coffee was cold.
👉🏻 Cathy's approach gave me a face-saving avenue to give them what they wanted 👈🏻
And don't miss the elephant in the room - it was NOT impossible for me to change the contract document.
But the coworker - his argument gave me one option only and that was to capitulate with zero agency. I now know from experience, when you do that to someone, they will find a way to punish you later in the relationship.
I was pretty rattled by this negotiation. I didn't even realise I was having a negotiation - I was so used to the status quo that it had not occurred to me going into the discussion that we needed them more than they needed us.
It just goes to show, a little bit of negotiation training (and some smiley kind eyes) goes a long way.